Let me kiss your crown for the last time. Let me take one more look. Let me tell you I will always be curious before I go. Let me feel I'm yours for the last second.
You were my heaven and my hell. You were fire, water, air and earth of my existence. You made me think everything lasts forever. I was waiting for this time of THIS year for the past 2 years, just for you. I was waiting, expecting the best, loving you like the idiot I was, and of course, I was yours. Every time I needed help, I turned to you, every time I needed YOU, you were there. Whatever you said, I made it holy, whatever you thought I made it words, whatever you taught me, I still can't deny. Anything that had anything to do with you, was untouchable, protected by my love to you, sacred. Anything you told me to do, or to stop doing, I'd do so. I was listening to you, because I knew you were always right. (Dude, you made me like dubstep, and that's pretty something).
You, you were the most irresistible and arrogant man I have ever had anything to do with in my entire life.
And to be honest with you, your excuses were always good. They seemed...rational and always probable. God. And I was letting you fool me for all this time, I guess, I wanted to be lied to by you, rather than not having you at all. And yes, I was yours. More than you ever imagined anything to be yours. I remember you saying 'I will always love you', and now, this moment, I can easily say- BULLSHIT. Bullshit.
I was always scared of losing you, always wondering if you were happy enough with me. If I was enough for you. And every time I'd hear a long monologue from you about how wonderful I was, how happy you are (sorry, WERE, is the word) with me and how you'd never want anyone but me, and I, being me, I would argue, telling you there's someone better than me out there and that you should more than likely be with her instead of me, and then you'd tell me to shut the fuck up and that you'd never leave me, even for Johnny Depp. Then I'd be grumpy for the rest of the day, still imagining you with some other girl, and I'd be mad with you only because my imagination was too crazy. You'd be brief when talking to me, angry even though you were trying to hide it, and still, you'd tell me a million times over and over again you loved me more than your own life and still, I would argue... how much of a stupid idiot I was to doubt it? Wasn't anything you said true and 'sacred'? Shouldn't I believe you? Shouldn't I just shut the fuck up and tell you I loved you too, instead of arguing? Maybe, if I didn't want to argue that much you'd still be mine?
I was so scared of losing you that I was mad with you for being mine. God, it sounds ridiculous. I just hope it makes sense to you, my dear readers, as much as it makes sense to me.
And what hurts the most is that I WAS right in the end. You DID end up with someone better than me. You DID decide you'd be happier with someone else. Even though you promised you'll always love me, even if you'd end up with someone else. Bullshit, once again. But you can't be in a happy relationship with one girl and still 'always love' other one. That's just not right, and you do only the right things. OK, I already accepted it, that you're happy, living your life with some girl I don't even know. Im guessing she's amazingly pretty, intelligent, funny and yours. I'm also guessing she loves you, (I mean, how can anyone NOT love you?), and I'm guessing you hold hands most of the time, you kiss her neck and hug her in front of your friends. I'm almost sure you tell her you love her every single minute of your day and I'm almost sure you two are happy together.
You, you were the most irresistible and arrogant man I have ever had anything to do with in my entire life.
And to be honest with you, your excuses were always good. They seemed...rational and always probable. God. And I was letting you fool me for all this time, I guess, I wanted to be lied to by you, rather than not having you at all. And yes, I was yours. More than you ever imagined anything to be yours. I remember you saying 'I will always love you', and now, this moment, I can easily say- BULLSHIT. Bullshit.
I was always scared of losing you, always wondering if you were happy enough with me. If I was enough for you. And every time I'd hear a long monologue from you about how wonderful I was, how happy you are (sorry, WERE, is the word) with me and how you'd never want anyone but me, and I, being me, I would argue, telling you there's someone better than me out there and that you should more than likely be with her instead of me, and then you'd tell me to shut the fuck up and that you'd never leave me, even for Johnny Depp. Then I'd be grumpy for the rest of the day, still imagining you with some other girl, and I'd be mad with you only because my imagination was too crazy. You'd be brief when talking to me, angry even though you were trying to hide it, and still, you'd tell me a million times over and over again you loved me more than your own life and still, I would argue... how much of a stupid idiot I was to doubt it? Wasn't anything you said true and 'sacred'? Shouldn't I believe you? Shouldn't I just shut the fuck up and tell you I loved you too, instead of arguing? Maybe, if I didn't want to argue that much you'd still be mine?
I was so scared of losing you that I was mad with you for being mine. God, it sounds ridiculous. I just hope it makes sense to you, my dear readers, as much as it makes sense to me.
And what hurts the most is that I WAS right in the end. You DID end up with someone better than me. You DID decide you'd be happier with someone else. Even though you promised you'll always love me, even if you'd end up with someone else. Bullshit, once again. But you can't be in a happy relationship with one girl and still 'always love' other one. That's just not right, and you do only the right things. OK, I already accepted it, that you're happy, living your life with some girl I don't even know. Im guessing she's amazingly pretty, intelligent, funny and yours. I'm also guessing she loves you, (I mean, how can anyone NOT love you?), and I'm guessing you hold hands most of the time, you kiss her neck and hug her in front of your friends. I'm almost sure you tell her you love her every single minute of your day and I'm almost sure you two are happy together.
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