Bob Marley, candles and first cigarettes.

I found some old pictures. First pictures of first days spent with her. And guess what? I absolutely love them. Btw... I didn't know how hilarious I look when I get drunk. Oh well.

We changed. Me and her. I only realised that just now. It seems to me as if we went through a long and complicated process. Some kind of a restart or recorvery. Well,we knew this was going to happen and that these changes will be good for us, but we, or I at least, didn't know they would be so extreme. Both, her and me are completely different to what we were few months ago. We were... no. That wont make any sense...Hmm... Me and her still were occupied by children and their naiveness, imagination and belief that everything and everyone was good and perfect.
Soon we realised we were living in golden cages of lies and worlds me and her made up. We realised how things really were, still are to be honest, and we learned how to face them. We learned how to be strong and how get away from all these things and people who made us believe we were weak. We basically broke up with anything that reminded us of all these things we had to pretend. We got rid of all these weaknesses we were told we had. In the end, it turned out we were stronger than any of these golden cage people have ever been.We became free, strong and independent.We became women who tasted life with every breath they took. We became what WE always wanted to be. We kept on smiling 24/h. We were happy.

 It was March. March when it all happened. I met her during the Easter break. Only that week showed me the real side of life. It also showed me Im not alone. It made me enjoy my new-born life. And I knew things were going to change. I could feel that I, myself was changing. After the Easter break I came back to school. And for the fist time in 3 years I didnt care what anyone thought of me. I didnt care what they may say if they saw a completely new me. But I didn't know that change I felt burning inside me would be so visible to others. I didn't know it would show straight away. Well, it turns out some people did see that 'something different' about me. Hm... that could mean only one thing: Life was becoming not a dream, not a forgery, but a reality where I could change any of the common life theories. A reality which I was finally directing myself.

Of course, things didnt remain that perfect up until today, but perfection doesnt last, all of us should know this. And, believe it or not I knew this was going to happen and I think I was prepared for it. Now that Im not as much of a naive, silly child as I was months ago. I surely can be happy with anything that life is offering me, even the bad things dont seem to be that bad anymore.

I just hope I will not have to go back.