We, as humans, break things on a daily basis. Accidently. We dont even realise when we break something. It doesn't necessarily have to be a materialised thing. It can be something without a body, without a shape. We can even break people themselves.
We're some vulnerable, self-destructive creatures. And this is when the panic comes. Panic, panic, panic. Read it out loud and see how funny this word is. It sounds pretty pathetic, doesnt it? Oh, sure it is a pathetic thing! Panic- some people want to make panic, by spreading it. How do they spread it around? By panicking themselves. Pffft. We panic pretty often, dont we? When the 'problems of our lives over-whelm us'. What the hell is that supposed to be? I'm sorry but problems in the lines of 'should I wear the fluorescent pink playboy T-shirt or the baby pink playboy T-shirt' are not real problems. Of course, I may now seem to be the 'know it all', but I think I've been through some more serious stuff in my life.
And yes, I did panic. I did panic before my first ever take off from Poland. I did panic when my first month in Ireland seemed to be a year. I did panic when I had to go to a new school, full of people who speak some kind of language I could not understand. And after three years I finally got used to what's around me. I started to love it. I accepted all this and the other as my home. I loved it. I loved it even more when she was around. And the last time I panicked was in June. When she left. I panicked as never before. I wasnt alive. And of course, something decided to change in me.
It wasnt me who wanted that change. I'd say that it was my mind taking the advantage here. It all changed so quickly. I woke up one morning, cool after all that just happened. Cool about anything and anyone. Didn't give a fcuk about what would happen. I decided to drop all my plans, all my timetables. I decided to live without planning anything. And since then, panic became something completely unknown for me.
Before then my life tasted like...no, it didnt have a taste. Tasteless. And then, on Easter time Ola showed me that life can taste like red wine. It could be sweet but bitter at the same time. Depends on how you tasted it. And... if you burned your hair or not.
And after holidays life's taste changed to vanilla. And rum. Vanilla rum. Something sweet, strong and funky. Yes. Something nice. But of course in small doses. If you'll get too much of it, you'll end up under the trampoline in my back garden.
Yes, I like my vanilla life. Im not saying that red wine is bad. I'm just saying that red wine is something special. Something you drink with someone special. This is when the magic happens. It tastes nicer when it's shared. And vanilla rum... is just different. Anyone could drink it, as long as they know how to.
oh. i like this entry. :)
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